so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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