Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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