I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
