Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
