Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I said "one day" and that day is not today
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
