I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
only you would photoshop your dick
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize