Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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