He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
