Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
