my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
