Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
