I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
