The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
