saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
