The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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