Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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