I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
