I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize