She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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