We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
