covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize