Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
