i just wanna soil my oats bro
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
