The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
