is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
