pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
