nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize