He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
