My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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