OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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