And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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