Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
