Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
