Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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