Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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