Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
