Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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