omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
