also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize