i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
