I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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