Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
