I'm drive I can fine osifer
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
