Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
