I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
