They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
