I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize