If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
