i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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