i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize