Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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