he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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