I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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