where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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