I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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