Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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