you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
