Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
