I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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