are you still at the devil's house?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
