PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
