he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
