Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize