I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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