sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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