where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
