Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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