Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
