I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
