So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
