that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i've created a new STD.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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