the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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