I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
