Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
