Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
