when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Success! We fucked roommates!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
