i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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